


NN

by fatfingers



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1519970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatfingers/pseuds/fatfingers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean goes to God!Cas to try and scream some sense into him one last time. I guess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	NN

**Author's Note:**

> Supposed to be a short fixlet for the finale of 6th season. Okay it's short but I meant to have it like 300 words x) ... All and any mistakes are of my own doing.

Originally posted on LJ [here](http://fatfingers22.livejournal.com/1418.html#cutid1).

* * *

 

"Cas!" Dean's angry voice burst through the room.

Cas wasn't afraid. Cas was never afraid. Especially now. I mean God would never be afraid, right? But there was something about Dean's voice that made him start walking backwards.

Dean was fast and even though Cas was trying to back away from him, the wall behind him made it almost impossible for him to make Dean see dust. Almost impossible. He was God now after all.

But the thing is, he still couldn't move. He blamed his stubbornness to win and be right, but deep down, deep deep down it was because he didn't want to. He wanted Dean to help him. To punch some sense into him. To kill him.

Dean took those last few steps towards Cas and grabbed his collar. His eyes were flaring with anger. Cas remained his expressionless self, even though his palms were now pressed tightly against the cold exterior of the marble wall.

There were so many things Dean wanted to say to him. Ask him. Do to him. He wanted to know why. He wanted to scream at him for ruining his little brother, apparently the only being in existence who would always be there for him no matter what. He wanted to punch him. Stab him. Smother him. Hang him. Just make him suffer since he hadn't found a way to kill him.

He didn't know Cas wanted the same things. That he was still there, inside himself, holding on for dear life, just to try and break the surface and tell Dean to end it all. To save them all. Didn't know that his guardian angel was looking at him with a broken heart and the pain of knowing none of them may ever be free again.

But, you see, Dean hadn't given up on him. Not really. Like he had once said, Cas had gone to the mat cut and bleeding so many times for them. He had raised him and his little brother from perdition. He had healed Bobby even though he didn't have to.

He had done anything for Dean. And even when everything was falling apart, and Dean was losing control of himself and nearly everything around him, Cas still helped him.

So no, he hadn't given up on Cas. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Not now. Not like this. He owed him at least that.

The heartless and power-drunk Cas was still staring at Dean's burning face. He was about to laugh at him. Push him over the edge. Explode him, when Dean suddenly closed the distance between them, taking Cas' lips with his.

He sucked down hard on Cas' lower lip before biting on it and tracing his tongue over it.

Cas was stiff as a rock under Dean, but when Dean invaded his mouth with his tongue and the kiss got suddenly a lot more passionate but so soft, he softened with it. He followed Dean's movements with his own tongue and his palms moved from their place on the wall to rest on Dean's hips.

Dean opened his mouth wider to deepen the kiss for a moment, before pulling away just to look at Cas. The storm in his eyes was gone but they were still... glowing.

For a moment he thought the ridiculous thought that maybe that was all he had had to do all this time, but then Cas straightened and looked at him with a fond look. One might even say mocking. And all emotion, everything, except sorrow and pain, floated through his body.

He let go of Cas, looked down and was about to turn away and leave him for good when Cas grabbed his jacket, breathing heavily.

“Dean,” he groaned. “Dean. Help me,” he stared at him, eyes wide with exasperation. “Dean, help me, please,” his voice was hoarse but you could still see the caged scream in his horror-filled eyes.

“What do you need me to do?” Dean rambled.

“Spell. On the table,” Cas breathed.

Dean carefully left him to go get the paper. When he looked back at Cas he saw he was sinking down so he hurried back to him, grabbed him and sat him and himself on the ground.

“Okay, now what?” Dean was getting desperate.

“You.... note..... all....... read....... word......” Cas muffled.

“Cas?” Dean put the paper on the ground to stroke Cas' hair away from his forehead. “Cas,” he moved his hand down to his cheek. “Cas!” he shifted in his place on the ground, gripping Cas tighter. “Cas, no. You can't do this to me. You can not. I will not lose you. You hear me? Cas? Stay with me, damn it!”

Cas opened his eyes. “Read. The note,” he blinked heavily.

Dean did what he was told, read the spell and did the ritual, without letting go of Cas.

When he was done he looked at Cas wondering if he hadn't done it right. Or if something was missing. He kept looking at Cas with bewilderment. Kept looking at him hoping to see some change, maybe see a smoke of souls flooding out of him.

He kept looking at him, waiting for something to happen, waiting for Cas to say something. And kept looking at him as Cas' head drooped. As he got heavier in his arms. Kept looking at him as his mouth slackened. As his eyes slowly shut down.

You know the feeling where you think you've lost everything and it hurts so much it's like someone is jumping on top of you and someone else is stabbing you from the inside, stomping on the knives and you want to scream like no one has ever screamed before but you can't?

That's what you saw in Dean's eyes now. Nothing like hell. Not even close to Sam's hell. This was something much worse.

“Cas? ......Cas??.........CAS?!?!” Dean choked, tears blocking his vision. He was crumbling down before his beautiful guardian, his gay crisis, and he hadn't even told him how he really felt. How he'd have died for him. How he'd never even look at boobs again if that meant he could only be with Cas.

Now this was a vision. Dean, half lying on the floor of some freaked out warehouse, crying and shuddering over Cas who lay his arms.

He felt something creep up his body. “Dean..” it stopped on his upper left arm. “Why would you rescue me?”

Dean could feel the small sizzling on his arm before he had the sense to look up, but it was all the same. It made his whole body go warm; that feeling, that face lit up again. He couldn't have hid his smile even if he had wanted to, which he didn't. “Good things do happen, Cas.”

Cas tried to smile, looking down at Dean's hands where they rested on his chest. “Not in my experience.”

Dean was about to burst from happiness so he couldn't help the small snort joining his tears. “What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?”

This time when Cas looked up at him he had a genuine smile on his face. It wasn't bright and beaming, it wasn't a normal human smile. There was no scheming behind it, no pain, no evil. It was just a plain, awkward, small, regular Cas smile.

And because there it was, the factor that had, in the end, made Dean fall in love with him, he brushed his lips lightly against Cas', pausing for a breath, before kissing him in earnest and with every feeling he had always been too afraid of even thinking about feeling. And when he pulled back they were both smiling, letting those last drops of pain pour out of them.


End file.
